
I hear tell that there’s another movie in the Alien franchise in theaters, which makes this a fine opportunity to revisit the beauty and stupidity of the last one, Prometheus. In that previous instalment, we watched people who were, allegedly, some of Earth’s greatest scientific minds blunder their way into an alien bio-weapon storage facility only to get eaten by and/or mutated into horrific H.R. Geiger-designed monstrosities.
The behavior of the Prometheus team’s biologist Rafe Millburn is a regular joke on Science Twitter even without millions of dollars of studio marketing to remind us about it — he infamously reaches out to a hissing alien snake-thing that promptly breaches his spacesuit and kills him. Recently, though, that regular discussion landed on an important question arising from poor Rafe’s bad example: what kind of field scientist would do better than the Prometheus team?
So here’s my rundown of the survival strengths and weaknesses of people with experience in some fieldwork-intensive STEM disciplines, specifically in the context of an expedition to a hostile alien planet. Note that I’m trying to focus on skills and personality types that distinguish each area of expertise — so, for instance, I assume that everyone would be about equally likely to have wilderness first-aid training, or the physical conditioning for a long hike with a pack. I’m sure these assessments are going to be off, and biased or distorted by my membership in #TeamAutotroph — feel free to make counterarguments in the comments or on Twitter. [Edit: Well, maybe on Mastodon?]
Without further ado, the list, in no particular order:
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